(no subject)
Feb. 25th, 2026 01:59 pmGod, I wish it weren't so difficult to pick yourself up out of bed every day, especially when you've been depressed for a while! It took a tremendous amount of effort for me to actually leave the house so that I could check off the one thing I had marked for today on my to-do list (that is, go to the library and get some writing done), especially since:
1) I am on my period now. Yay.
2) I also had to force myself to stop social media scrolling in search of those instant dopamine rewards that I never actually get, which I'm prone to doing when I'm not feeling well.
I have been trying my hardest to fight off how constantly tired and bored I feel. It's related to my lack of sleep, my difficulty building a solid social life, and whole slew of other things, and I have to keep reminding myself of it so that I know it's fixable and aren't tempted to just give up. It's really, really hard, but I try.
I decided that I might as well journal about it as a sort of therapeutic measure, and also to get at least some writing juices flowing so that I have an easier time working on ongoing projects later. Really, really sucks to basically have to fight myself not to give up, and I'm tired beyond belief, but I do have to keep doing this, unfortunately.
1) I am on my period now. Yay.
2) I also had to force myself to stop social media scrolling in search of those instant dopamine rewards that I never actually get, which I'm prone to doing when I'm not feeling well.
I have been trying my hardest to fight off how constantly tired and bored I feel. It's related to my lack of sleep, my difficulty building a solid social life, and whole slew of other things, and I have to keep reminding myself of it so that I know it's fixable and aren't tempted to just give up. It's really, really hard, but I try.
I decided that I might as well journal about it as a sort of therapeutic measure, and also to get at least some writing juices flowing so that I have an easier time working on ongoing projects later. Really, really sucks to basically have to fight myself not to give up, and I'm tired beyond belief, but I do have to keep doing this, unfortunately.